Canvas · of · Mind

Let the drum give a steady beat.
Though my heart is erratic,
Let the music play quietly,
It will soon set me free.

Keep those funky bass lines.
Don't stop the good vibes,
Tapping of the feet,
You make pain sweet.

The wailing of the guitars.
Shows me all that you are,
Turn it up for all to hear,
Suddenly, my head feels clear.

The falsetto of the youthful singer.
Speaks to me, my every emotion,
The never-ending echo of my soul,
Hounding me till my life is sold.

Give me a pen and paper. There are lots of emotions riled up in me. The green-eyed monster. The worried nympho. The fucking loser. Just give me a minute to sort myself out.

Those bastards singing in my ipod are speaking every word that is true. The truth fucking hurts. I don't want to be here. Come let's take a dive into the ocean, never to resurface. I don't need this foul air. The smoke is choking me. Let's live with the fishes. Fishes are friends.

I want my guitar. I have a rhythm in my head. But, the strings just don't hear it. It never sounds the same. It's not meant to be, you know. Talentless. A bum. What sort of life is this? Being nice is not good enough. Being outgoing, smart and funny, dare I say it...Rich? All that I'm not.

I know Green is a fucked up emotion. I just can't help beut feel. Maybe I should just sleep, and go far away. Far away from here.

But, shut-eye only brings me closer to you. There is no far away.

The past is a dangerous place. It has many potholes and mines buried on a flat surface like a mirage. You think you see it. You take one more step closer. Down you fall like the bowling pins at Superbowl. The past can trap in you in a really bad place.

It can change you. We all know that the past will mould the present and thus, shape the future. If we are not careful, the future is a cliff and we are the lemmings. It's not easy to find a blance between how much of the past do we want to allow to change us. Being stuck to the good old days, can stagnate our growth. We constantly look over our shoulder and think that everything in the present and future is not right. We miss the new things, we miss growth. The damaging past that we try to run from, that monster that we pushed to the back of our heads. It can come back in blink of an eye. An old bully. De ja vu. An old story. There is no escape. Yet, to allow that monster to consume us, we live in darkness and will never grow.

For fuck's sake. Kick that monster's ass and embrace the new. Let go of the ideal and the hurt of the past and see and do new things. It's a new start. A new life. Breathe the air and enjoy as the stem of your soul fills up with the ever satisfying nourishment of life. It is going to be a different year from the last.

Of course, it will.